Friday, 6 November 2015


Ladylike: Characterisation of a well mannered woman   or girl who adheres to traditional norms of propriety and femininity

So todays' post is about women, young women inparticular and the question; are females ladylike anymore? And does the term ladylike even exist in today's society? This post was actually inspired by a radio talk show which was commenting on a recent incident which occurred in East london, involving a large group of young females in a physical altercation, (Walthamstow brawl). 

When I hear about incidents like this it really makes my heart sad, to think that young women believe such behavior is acceptable and furthermore, that it's likely that there is no positive role model for them or anyone to guide them from engaging in such behavior.

It raises the question to why is there an uproar in such behavior? During the radio show I was listening to many callers as they were speaking about men and the lack of male presences in many young people's lives today, others were saying it's the lack of men being men with the lines of gender roles being crossed. It is easy to say that those answers are all excuses, as we are in charge of our own actions and should be held responsible to what we do, however it can be said that a lack of positive influence can unfortunately mold a child into these negative stereotypes. 

Growing up, I was very fortunate to have several positive influences around me, the fear alone of having to go through not just my mum and sisters but extended family members and family friends if I dared to be involved in a fight or cause some form of disruption was enough to persuade me not to. 

When I speak to some young girls today they do not have a mentor, family or friends that guide them, like I did, and many have the "I don't care" attitude. When I look at what is being fed to them by media, music and those around them it's quite sad to say it's mostly negative. From time to time I watch reality T.V shows (often thankful that I know how to carry myself, better than these grown women) and it's sad to see these women, who are deemed to be successful in whatever field that they are in, driving fancy cars, living in big houses, wearing designer clothes and married (or exes) to top paid athletes, fighting and cursing at any opportunity possible. With shows like bad girls club, love & hip hop and basketball wives, which all claim to not promote violence but unfortunately that's all they're doing. 

( A scene from basketball wives "not" promoting violence *inserts straight face emoji here*)

With "successful" women being broadcasted in this way it's easy to ask does a lady exist in today's' society and is the term ladylike old fashioned?

My answer is no, there is still a generation that are very ladylike, they understand their boundaries and they know how to portray themselves in a very professional and polite manner. I believe that it's our responsibility to help guide the next generation to come in the way that we may of learnt from those above us, the same way our families, mentors, mothers and sisters helped us we need to extend out our hand and help those young ladies under us. The way your character is formed is influenced from what you receive at home, who you have around you and what you allow yourself to be fed from.

If you want to see change it's important to speak life! My mum is a firm believer of that there is power in the tongue and it is so true!!! Instead of my mum saying when I was younger that I was naughty or bad she would highlight that the action was bad but I am a good person. She always spoke positive words into my life and still does today. Therefore if we want the next generation of young women to be "ladylike" we need to speak those positive attributes into their lives and pull out the GOLD in them!

A great analogy is when you are searching for gold you have to get wet, you have to get dirty you need to extract the dirt, sieve through and eventually after searching and working hard you will find the gold, and that is exactly what we need to do with our young girls as they will be the next generation of sisters, mothers and aunties!

Being a lady is not dead, it maybe a little hard to find but there is a lady in every female!!! 



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