Monday, 14 December 2015

Loved & Lost. . .

Hey my loves,

So this post is very personal for me as some of you may know I lost my sister 4 years ago today, to bowel cancer and not a day goes by where she doesn't come to mind. So this post is a little tribute to my big sister whom I miss and love sooooo much! Rest in perfect peace Neriah x

A lot of people handle loss in different ways, and for me I felt that I had to be the strong one in the family. My sister and I were extremely close we would often take yearly trips abroad, which resulted on several occasions with us arguing, getting lost in a foreign country, somehow finding our way back home and crying in each other's arms as we were so scared that one of us wouldn't be able to make it back and somehow kidnapped! (clearly we had watched Taken too many times). 

Although I have two other sisters, the bond between Neriah and I was so tight, despite being 12 years older than me, we still understood each other in a way that my other two sisters didn't. Neriah was the peacemaker in the family and definitely the innocent one out of all of us, till this day I still cannot think of a time where she was rude, ever swore or cursed at someone! She was someone that was loved by ALL!!! If you didn't love her there was something wrong with YOU! So losing someone that precious was the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with. 

How I dealt with losing my sister. . . (the good & the bad)

1. I was blessed in having such a supportive church family, this really helped with not just myself but also with my mum and sister who at the time this happened were a lot more involved with the particulars than I was, I had just started university and really didn't know anything about booking funeral arrangements and didn't have a clue where to begin. So having our church family come in and support us really helped with taking the load off, even with the little things like cooking.

2. I prayed, and prayed and prayed! I have lost close friends in the past but never a family member and would of never expected to lose my big sister at such a young age. I didn't know what to say to people on how I felt that the only person I felt comfortable speaking to and crying with was God!

3. I kept it in, (very bad habit of mine). I hold in my feelings and act as if everything is okay, when really I just wanted was a hug and to crawl up in a corner and CRY! In the years gone by I've noticed that I am not good with expressing my feelings with people and sometimes you just need to let it all out to a human being (even if they cannot relate to what you are going through their empathy and comfort maybe what you need)! My time with God was great but at times I would just explode from holding in all the pain I was going through that it would physically drain me. 

4. I made myself busy (another bad habit), to avoid having to confront my feelings and other peoples questions, I would find things to do drive to the shops, go to uni, whatever it was I tried it all. But in reality I was just running away from dealing with the reality that I was going through. In times like this it is so important to slow yourself down, most of the time your head is not in the right space.

They're just some of the ways I handled losing my sister, they're not always the best ways and everyone handles loss differently. But we all need love and support so if you are going through the same, try and accept the help from others and I pray God gives you the strength to make it through and to carry on your life making your loved one proud of the person you are going to be! It's not an easy task but you will make it through!!

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." 
- Philippians 4:13



No comments

Post a Comment

© Adorning Cultures. All rights reserved.
Blogger Templates by pipdig