Friday, 7 October 2016

Young & Married - My Love DOES cost a thing. . .




Hey guys,

Welcome back to the young and married series. 

Soooooo you probably read the title of the blog and thought this trifling gold digging heffa!!! But..... sorry to burst that bubble. When I talk about marriage DOES cost a thing I'm not talking about financially or materialistic things. I'm talking about what you have to give and pour into YOUR marriage in order for it to be happy and successful.

Cause let's not act like we are in a generation where people will get married today and the following month they're divorced for irreconcilable differences like what does that even mean and how is that even a justifiable reason to give up on YOUR marriage.
(I'm sure you can tell I'm a little passionate about this).

I've only been married a year (yippee) and I plan to be married to the same (amazing) man till one of us hits the can (which hopefully will be when we're very, very old) but in order to be and stay married it's going to cost you certain things.

1. Pride
2. Time 
3. Love


Being married is going to cost you your pride, why I say this. . .  Cause not every argument is worth having just to be right, to be spiteful or to make the other person feel bad. Pride is VERY dangerous in a marriage and can really tear two people apart. Often when you look back at a situation where you let your pride take over you feel silly and realise how petty you were being. I often find myself in this position and I know I'm wrong and I seem silly but I don't want to say sorry because of pride. But I have to check myself and think is it really worth pushing this person away for a reason I don't even know existed!

Time: If you don't invest your time into your marriage you cannot expect it to flourish. As much as you may like to watch you Power and play Fifa, time also needs to be set aside to spend time together, away from the phones and the social media but actually in conversation like we used to.  So it might cost you an hour or two in your day but it will be beneficial for your marriage.

Love: Love is shown in different ways for different people, in a previous blog I shared a little on love languages. It's a great way to understand how your significant other expresses and feels love. For myself I feel most loved when you spend time with me and I express love by acts of service, (doing things for people). Whereas Kai's is physical touch and expresses love through words of affirmation (positive words). Now in order for me to show love to my husband I have to hug him, kiss him etc. whereas I'm the opposite, once you start getting close to my face I will probably run in the opposite direction. But in order for this marriage to succeed I have to give love to my husband in such a way.

To find out more on love languages or to find out what your love languages are go to: 5lovelanguages.com

Now I'm not saying if you do these three things and only these three you will have a perfect marriage, there's a lot more than these three things that you have to give in a marriage which you will learn along the way. But they are definitely key things I've learnt in my first year and I pray I'll continue to learn more in the MANY years to come. 
Marriage is FUN, and it's a partnership, whether you married, courting or single I pray that after reading this post it's made you excited about marriage, like I am!! 

xo
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